


Sweet Refrain

by luucarii



Series: Scum's Wish AU [3]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: F/M, Love Confessions, M/M, Scum's Wish AU, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 09:23:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13831227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luucarii/pseuds/luucarii
Summary: “I’ve been thinking.” His voice halted as he looked up from the book, “I’m gonna confess my feelings to Rantaro after I finish the work.”Shuichi bit down, breaking the remaining piece of the Pocky and sat up from his position. His face grew red, though he tried to play it off. He raised his hand in the air as a reassurance, more to himself than Kokichi, and stuttered.“Then I’ll do it too! I’ll confess to Kaede!”





	Sweet Refrain

**Author's Note:**

> Episode 8 was by far my favorite episode of the anime when I watched it for the first time so I mean, I HAD to write it for this AU.
> 
> I know story wise I'm skipping a bunch of stuff (namely Akane's story, Ecchan, and Noriko but they're not too relevant in this episode so I figured it was fine to write it without introducing their counterparts) but if I'm being honest, this might be my last entry in this series anyway so I figured let's end off with some angst and bad decisions!

Shuichi was thankful for the blasting air conditioning in Kokichi’s dorm room. Surely by this point, in the blazing heat of July, he would have been melting at the sun’s hand. Somehow though, the sun seemed to tire him out more than boost his spirits, and the piles of textbooks and packets on the wide table in the center of the room definitely didn’t help much.

 

“Seriously? This is way too much.” Shuichi pouted, letting his forehead hit the table with a sigh, “there’s no way I can finish this, even with help.”

 

Kokichi let out a chuckle and reached for a textbook, opening it and skimming through the first few pages. He closed it and slid it back onto the table, stretching his arms backward. “Guess the summer work was worse than what we heard. Jeez, that sucks.”

 

Shuichi turned his head, cheek pressed against the table as he eyed a box of opened Pocky. He reached for one and lazily stuck it in his mouth, not bothering to munch right away. “I just want to get it over with. I’d rather stress about studying for entrance exams than summer work.”

 

Kokichi didn’t respond, his purple gaze centered on the book he had slipped back onto the table. Shuichi turned his head, resting his chin on the table as he blinked at Kokichi, trying to read his expression. It wasn’t like Kokichi to be so silent.

 

“Hey.”

 

Shuichi munched quietly on his Pocky stick and listened in.

 

“I’ve been thinking.” His voice halted as he looked up from the book, “I’m gonna confess my feelings to Rantaro after I finish the work.”

 

Shuichi bit down, breaking the remaining piece of the Pocky and sat up from his position. His face grew red, though he tried to play it off. He raised his hand in the air as a reassurance, more to himself than Kokichi, and stuttered.

 

“Then I’ll do it too! I’ll confess to Kaede!”

 

Kokichi giggled, “you think you’d be able to? Either way, I guess we’ll be able to do it around the same time.”

 

Shuichi felt the taste of the Pocky fade from his tongue. His expression softened, his smile curling back to his normal appearance. He hated admitting it to himself, but a part of him wanted to kiss Kokichi then and there. Whether it was the fear of inevitable rejection from Kaede or just the longing for the act itself, he couldn’t tell. He watched Kokichi pick up another book, open it to what seemed to be the first page, and engross himself in reading every line. Shuichi sighed inwardly, what was he even thinking to begin with?

 

\---

 

Did they study? Do any work to begin with?

 

_Yeah, of course we did._

 

Shuichi reassured himself that the day was not a waste. That the two of them _did_ do something, even if it was only outlining the first chapter of their history textbook. Now, as Shuichi’s head laid against the floor and Kokichi was firmly atop him, lips pressed against his, hands curled in his, homework was somehow one of the many things on his mind. They were both honor students. Two students, one hundred percent serious about their work, yet somehow they ended up in this situation without bothering to realize it until after the fact.

 

Kokichi’s lips felt light against Shuichi’s, sorrowful, restraining. Shuichi couldn’t tell why. Shuichi didn’t want to think too much about it, hell he didn’t want to think _at all_. Kokichi was his escape and after the proclamation of confessing his feeling to Kaede, he wanted nothing more than to forget that stupid statement for a little while. When Kokichi broke away sooner than expected, Shuichi opened his eyes slowly.

 

“Are you scared?” It was the first thing he could bring himself to say, hoping, _praying_ that he wasn’t the only one.

 

Kokichi nodded, sitting up slightly, strands of his hair falling in his face, “I’m terrified. I don’t want to hear his answer. Even though, I know it’s a no.”

 

Shuichi raised his hand, cupping Kokichi’s cheek softly, curling his hair between his fingers. Kokichi let out a small sigh, closing his eyes and pressing his cheek against Shuichi’s palm.

 

“You can…pretend I’m him.” Shuichi let his hand fall back against the floor and felt nothing but regret after he said that. Why, why in God’s name did he say that, did he even mention it at this point? That was their arrangement, right? It was nothing more than one using the other. It was…nothing more, right?

 

Kokichi sat up, moving away to give Shuichi his space. His eyes were focused on the floor, a light red coloring his skin. “I’m okay, then.”

 

Shuichi shot up, “wait, what? I don’t know what you’re saying. Tell me.” Kokichi turned himself away even more and Shuichi leaned forward, “I won’t know if you don’t tell me. Maybe we…” He drifted off, unable to find the air to finish his sentence.

 

_…might be feeling the same thing._

 

Kokichi didn’t look up, “I don’t know when it started. But I can’t imagine you as him anymore.”

 

_Does that mean…?_

 

Shuichi felt his mouth go dry.

 

_I… I don’t know what to say. Why? Come on, hurry up and say something._

 

Shuichi watched Kokichi turn his head to look up at him. They met eyes for a few seconds but the air seemed nonexistent. Shuichi couldn’t speak.

 

Kokichi shrugged his shoulder, his playful attitude being forced in. He cracked a smile, “oh well, we’ve both decided, we’re doing this. We’ll just have to see what happens.”

 

“…Right.”

 

It was then, after thinking back to all the days and nights he spent with Shuichi, he had stopped comparing him to Kaede. Kaede was nothing but a fleeting memory when he was with Kokichi. Kokichi existed as his own being, not someone Shuichi used to replace. 

 

Shuichi wanted… him. …Right?

 

\---

 

_Summer’s too short._ Shuichi found himself thinking, later in the month as he peered out the open window of his room, watching the sparkling colors of fireworks in the distance. They rose quickly, like a rocket, and exploded in seconds, lighting the dark sky with flashes of red and green and silver. He lazily held his phone in one hand, staring at an already read text message he had sent earlier to Kaede. She was probably with Rantaro, Shuichi assumed, which was why it took her so long to reply.

 

He found himself scrolling through his camera roll while he waited for a response. Kokichi seemed to fill up most of his recent pictures, what with his constant stealing of Shuichi’s phone for amusement but a few pictures, taken maybe two years ago. The spring that Kaede had been so excited about passing her entrance exams with a perfect grade.

 

She had her back turned to him at first, eyeing the cherry blossoms that were blooming. Shuichi had called her name and she turned around quickly. At that point, Shuichi had jokingly taken pictures of her. She pouted and told him to delete them, which he only really did delete the blurry ones. Her hair was cut shorter, neatly stopping at her shoulders. It was a sort of celebration for her so she wanted to try something different with herself. He never understood her sometimes random quirky proclamations but he was always left chuckling.

 

He congratulated her and she in turn did the same, though Shuichi bashfully claimed his grade was nothing compared to hers, even if he did pass. Before Shuichi could even begin to think of a means of complementing her, Kaede had slipped her fingers into his and began pulling him through the cherry blossom field.

 

“Remember when we were kids, we used to walk home together holding hands. Even in the bad winters, we always kept each other steady by holding hands.”

 

“Kaede, w-we were kids. It’s way too embarrassing to do it—“ He couldn’t help but stutter, cheeks flushing as he tried not to look at her.

 

“Come on, just for today.” 

 

And they did walk home together, hands locked in each others. Just like when they were kids. When Rantaro wasn’t around, when Shuichi hadn’t met Kokichi. When it was just the two of them, _together._

 

_Fond memories. Most of them so trivial. Precious memories that I’ve treasured all my life._

 

_If you remembered any one of them—seriously—I thought I could go on living._

 

An image of Kaede flashed in his memory. She was smiling. He wanted nothing more than to keep that smile forever.

 

_There’s nobody better than you in the whole world._

 

The buzz of his phone broke his thoughts, and he looked down.

 

**Shuichi: Hey.**

 

**Kaede: What’s up?**

 

**Shuichi: Can we meet up on Sunday?**

 

**Kaede: Okay, sure.**

 

Shuichi held his phone near his heart, clutching it tightly as if it was the last remnant he had of Kaede. He shut his eyes, the popping fireworks being the only thing he could hear beside his heartbeat.

 

_No matter how warped, or clumsy._

 

_I’ve loved all I can._

 

_\---_

 

Kokichi shoved his hands in his pockets. It was too hot, or was it just because he was so nervous. Shuichi had been the one saying Kokichi should confess first, since he was technically the one who posed the idea in the first place. Kokichi texted Rantaro the night before—Saturday—and asked to meet up, which he wasn’t surprised when he said yes. From there, there was no backing down, no wriggling his way out of it. Him and Shuichi agreed that they’d confess, and that’s exactly what Kokichi planned to do, no matter Rantaro’s answer.

 

He thought back to last night, when he had met up with Shuichi at the park near by Kokichi’s dorm. It had just turned nine, though they weren’t planning on staying late. It was more of a reconfirmation more than an actual meeting. Kokichi would meet with Rantaro in the afternoon and Shuichi would meet with Kaede in the evening. They agreed to meet up back at the park at ten pm and most likely make their way back to Kokichi’s dorm room to fall into one another and forget. 

 

Because that’s all that they were there for, right?

 

Before Shuichi had left, Kokichi made sure to pull him in for a hug. A tight embrace that seemed to take Kokichi himself by surprise, as he never expected he would actually do it. Shuichi fit snugly in his chest, and Kokichi couldn’t help but lean upwards a little to kiss his forehead lightly, whispering a tiny _good luck_ before leaving.

 

Kokichi didn’t know _why_ exactly he kept thinking about it. All of his attention should be sorely placed on Rantaro. _Today_ was the day he dreamed of for the past year and a half.

 

Rantaro startled him at first. He had tapped Kokichi’s shoulder and chuckled when the purple haired boy leaped at his touch. Kokichi already felt his heart pounding. He wore dark sunglasses, though he made sure to lower them a little so Kokichi could see the light shade of green that were his eyes. His outfit was simple, though it wasn’t as if Kokichi went all out either. It was just meant to be a simple hang out.

 

“Hey, um…” Kokichi wanted to spit it out already, get it over with and find a chance to get away when he could but Rantaro had already cut him off, reaching forward to grab his wrist.

 

“If we’re gonna talk, could you maybe treat me to some iced coffee? I’m a little thirsty.” His voice was flirty and Kokichi already knew it was a trap. Albeit one he couldn’t help falling into.

 

Kokichi knew Rantaro wasn’t some sort of God-given angel, despite how he praised and described him as much. It was all an act, a show he put on for any unlucky girl willing to fall for him quickly. He never fell in love with anyone, he just waited until they’d love him. Being loved by someone is all Rantaro wanted, he couldn’t give a damn about finding a way to recuperate.

 

Kokichi loved him anyway. He loved him because he knew he couldn’t have him. 

 

Rantaro and Kokichi found themselves sitting across each other at some cafe down the corner. Kokichi ordered a lemonade and made extra sure to drink it slowly while he watched Rantaro eagerly eyed his iced coffee, clearing the whipped cream off the top with his finger.

 

_I wonder. What sort of girls he’s into? Peppy ones? Makes sense in terms of Kaede. The snarky ones? The quiet ones? Maybe he’s not even into girls at all, and just sleeps with them just so people don’t find out he’s into guys._

 

_What about me?_

 

“Rantaro.”

 

He looked up from his coffee and met Kokichi’s eyes. Kokichi tried to stay steady and forced the words out.

 

“I love you.”

 

Rantaro’s eyes widened, at least only a little, barely noticeable.

 

“Or at least, I used to.”

 

Rantaro tilted his head and smiled. “I knew.”

 

“I knew you knew.”

 

“That I didn’t know.”

 

“You’re lying.” Kokichi reached over to sip his lemonade quietly and Rantaro chuckled, leaning forward, resting his chin on his fingers. His eyes narrowed to slits, blinking slowly at Kokichi.

 

“I thought that was your thing.” Rantaro smiled again, “I like you, Kokichi.”

 

Kokcihi felt his pulse quicken but he calmed himself. He shook his head though the blush tinting his cheeks wasn’t helping. “You’re lying. I know because I’ve watched you all this time.”

 

_What are you doing? Pull back, don’t go any further. Stop being an idiot._

 

_He’s someone I can never have._

 

_That’s why I liked him._

 

_I liked him because I could never have him._

 

Rantaro’s eyes seemed to soften and it looked like he could cry. Kokichi didn’t know how to feel or even what was really happening at that point. He just needed to get his point across, in any way humanly possible.

 

“It’s not a lie.” Rantaro’s hand snaked toward Kokichi’s, intertwining their fingers as he leaned closer. “I’ve always cared about you too.”

 

Kokichi felt his heart pound. No, he couldn’t fall for it. It was all lies. He didn’t care. He _didn’t._ Kokichi thought back to Shuichi. Him. God, please just let him remember _him._  

 

_I’d already decided, I wouldn’t leave Shuichi alone. I won’t let him be alone again._

 

_\---_

 

Kokichi hated himself when he found himself pinned to some cheap motel bed, Rantaro above him with the clouded, almost innocent look in his eyes. Kokichi’s shirt had already been messily thrown somewhere else in the room and his face was flushed to the point where he couldn’t even try to hide it if he tried.

 

“I know.”

 

“Know what?” Rantaro leaned down and Kokichi shivered, feeling a gentle kiss to his neck, slowly trailing up to his ear.

 

“That you’re nothing but a broken narcissist.” Kokichi held in a gasp and panted out the rest of his speech. He wasn’t going to let Rantaro think he won. That he had seduced another hopeless victim into his world. “You never fall in love with anyone, and yet you’re not satisfied until you’re loved. Even my feelings, you don’t care. It could be anyone else up here right now.”

 

Rantaro’s head fell in the crease of Kokichi’s neck and he chuckled, breath light and hot against his skin. “You’re so cute.” Rantaro let a hand trace down Kokichi’s abdomen as his lips moved up to Kokichi’s ear, “then why did you follow me here? Why did you let me do this to you?”

 

At that Kokichi sighed. _I know this is all my fault._

 

_I’m at a huge disadvantage here. His words are empty. But the reason I’m here…_

 

Kokichi grabbed Rantaro’s face with his hands and kissed him. Hard enough to startle him but soft enough to get his point across. He didn’t want to say it aloud, more like he couldn’t. It seemed like an impossible task, impossible to even attempt for someone was warped and twisted as Rantaro. But Kokichi loved him enough where he wanted to try. Even if it was a lost cause, he needed to say he at least tried.

 

_I want to change you._

 

_\---_

 

Shuichi found himself waiting alone in the park, staring up at the night sky. The summer air was cool against his skin and he could honestly be content with just watching the clouds shift through the sky the whole night. He waited on the swing set for Kaede. A small part of him wished she wouldn’t show up so he could avoid obvious rejection but the rest of his body screamed in desperation for relief. He needed to do this.

 

“Shuichi!”

 

Shuichi stepped to his feet and turned to look toward Kaede who was rushing up to meet him. She looked tired, Shuichi knew well Kaede wasn’t a night owl, and Shuichi felt guilty for keeping her up, even if it wasn’t too late in the evening.

 

“I feel like it’s been forever since we last talked.”

 

Shuichi chuckled, both his hands finding themselves locked behind his back. His feet were frozen in place. He couldn’t move. “Yeah, your piano lessons are really taking up your time, huh?”

 

She giggled, “yeah, but I really am getting better! Next time we hang out, I’ll play you something!”

 

“I’m looking forward to it.” He knew his voice sounded dry but he couldn’t bring himself to at least attempt to fake enthusiasm. “Kaede, have you figured out why I asked you to meet?”

 

Kaede looked up and hummed, thinking to herself before shaking her head. “I’ve got no idea.”

 

“I’ve always liked that about you.” Shuichi snickered and watched Kaede’s hands fall to her hips.

 

“Don’t tease me.”

 

“…I used to like you.”

 

“Past tense?” She took it as a joke at first, of course. When she saw Shuichi’s eyes start to water, only then did she take him seriously.

 

“No, that’s a lie. I still do now.”

 

Shuichi forced himself to keep eye contact with her. He’d never be able to look her in the eye any day after today if he didn’t. Kaede’s expression softened, her eyes occasionally shifting to the ground before flying back up to him.

 

“Since when?”

 

_She’s been so clueless all this time. But I love how quickly she takes me seriously after finding out._

 

He couldn’t help himself from crying, “a long, long, long time.”

 

Kaede took small steps over to him, lips pressed together into a thin line. She grabbed his shoulders and slowly pulled him into her chest, wrapping her arms around him.

 

_I love her voice. I love her face. I love her gestures. I love the way she talks. I love the way she thinks. I love her compassion._

 

_I love how you just accept me when it’s truly important._

 

Shuichi found himself buried in her shoulder, not caring how loudly he cried. It all came, rushing out like a dam. All the years of silence, of waiting, of imagining and pretending. It faded to nothing in the thick summer air.

 

_When I feel how tightly she holds me, I know this will be the first and last time._

 

He wanted to cry more. To never stop crying. 

 

Kaede held him tightly and he could hear her quietly sniffling in his ear. The space around them disappeared, the world crumbled beside them.

 

“Shuichi. Thank you.”

 

Shuichi’s long-lasting unrequited love, had ended right then and there.

 

\---

 

Long after Kaede had left, Shuichi was still at the park. He couldn’t bring himself to leave. The moon just seemed too big, too bright that he needed to just stand there and stare at it. He held his phone in his hand and smiled, even with the remnants of tears drying on his skin.

 

_It’s okay. I can move on now…_

 

Shuichi raised his phone to his ear, knowing already he had clicked Kokichi’s contact information.

 

_I’m sure I can do it. I know I can change. Because I’m not…alone._

 

The call went to voicemail.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This AU as a whole was incredibly fun to write for since I really did enjoy Scum's Wish as a whole and I hope I maybe got a few of you to check out the manga/anime!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
